joel
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Posts by joel
Joel Radio #41: You Porky Pig
Jun 3rd
Though he’s late to the party, Joel finally dives in to the wild, wacky pool that is Chat Roulette. While expecting to find weirdos pleasing themselves, and he did, Joel actually met giggly girls from foreign countries, a shirtless gay man who made a pass at him, and one guy who found everything Joel said hilarious (we’re not sure if he spoke English or not). But best of all was a 14-year-old brat from England who rattles a string of insults about Joel’s weight and appearance that’s nothing short of heart warming. Who says there’s no love in the world – a world where a teenager can call a complete stranger a “fat shit” dozens and dozens of times all while knowingly being recorded for radio. It’s a hilarious exchange, one of the funniest in show history, so put the headphones on if you’re listening at work and enjoy! Also, the summer box office tanks, ModNation Racers gets reviewed, and Harry Artin calls in with a plug for what may be a very weird show, and guess what – Joel’s on the bill.
Right click here to download – 57 minutes, 28 megs
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Clockwise from top left: The German frauleins, Mr. Laughing guy, the giggly Brazilians and Joel’s buff, shirtless, smoking suitor.
Joel Radio #40: Lawnmower Girl
May 20th
Movie critic Corey Hall returns for a summer movie preview, as this is a really good summer for movies if you’re a female or eight-years-old (or both). The guys discuss the box office future of The A-Team, if Scott Pilgrim can save the world, and how Inception might be the only intelligent, adult movie of the summer. They also wonder if the Sex and the City girls are older than the Golden Girls, why all assassins are hot chicks, and when P Diddy became our nation’s greatest comedic actor. Plus, Law and Order is for scared dummies, the current whereabouts of Gene Shalit, and if anyone will ever get their fill of Kevin James getting hit in the nuts. Plus, Joel can’t go to Hawaii, skipping Star Wars for thew Appalachian Trail, and, she’s no Chloe – but Joel’s neighbor is an upgrade.
Right click here to download – 101 minutes, 46 megs
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Joel Radio #38: I Love Dickipedia
Apr 22nd
This week, Joel weighs in on the Kick Ass movie controversy. Is it too violent to be starring an 11-year-old girl? Was Roger Ebert right, or is the new big fat film critic, Harry Knowles, correct in his assertion that gun play and children go hand-in-hand? Plus, Joel’s favorite story of 2010 so far, the impeding Larry King divorce. Seems Larry was banging the sister-in-law while the wife was fielding pop-ups with the Little League coach, all adding to one scandalous, amazing, and hilarious story. Also, Larry’s criminal and marraige history explained – this guy’s a piece of work! Listen for all the juicy details. Plus, the NFL draft is upon us which means Mel Kiper Jr. gets to be wrong some more! Hear a re-cap of his biggest f-ups ever on this show.
Right click here to download – 34 minutes, 16 megs
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Joel Radio #37: Touch Here
Apr 8th
Corey Hall’s retirement tour continues and the guys get together the ol’ Corey and Joel magic for show #37. We’re not talking Vegas-style magic, more like Cub Scout talent show level magic with a shitty rope trick, the linking rings and gimmicked deck of cards, but hey – it’s free! The guys ramble about the price of oil, Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, bare breasts in public, Ellen’s bizarre wardrobe, XBOX 360 DLC, underpaid comedians and so much more. Plus, Joel fondles the iPad, yet doesn’t fall in love with it – kinda like his dates! Actually, the iPad was more responsive than most of Joel’s dates (present GF not included).
Right click here to download – 103 minutes, 47 megs
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Joel Radio #36: No Cheesesteaks
Apr 1st
Joel is back from Philadelphia, and despite performing at a sold out show for 1700 people, the number one question he’s asked is “did you have a cheese steak?”. The answer is “NO” and Joel’s reasoning for that are on the show, plus hear about Joel’s Philly hotel room disaster, finally meeting Jimmy Walker, and how Philly is different from New York. Also, there’s drama on Dancing With the Stars, but since it involves “top asshole” Kate Gosselin, Joel doesn’t really care. Plus, eating crow over Alice in Wonderland, Ricky Gervais fails, 3-D can’t save Clash of the Titans, and (a little) more on this show.
Right click here to download – 32 minutes, 15 megs
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Joel Radio #35: Vanilla Gorilla
Mar 18th
After last week’s doom and gloom, it’s back to fun time on Joel Radio! What could be more fun than Tiger Woods’ dirty text messages? His porn star ex-lover posted a bunch of them on the web, and Joel has the full list and analysis. Find out how long Tiger’s “sessions” last, and what he really likes in bed. Bring a friend to listen, Tiger would! And Jesse James cheats on Sandra Bullock, which proves that a body full of shitty tattoos is better than an Oscar. Also, Joel’s (actually Upchuck’s) interview with hilarious web video artiste extraordinaire, Scott Gairdner. Scott’s not a Juggalo, but might be now. Plus, Joel’s brush with “tween” TV fame – look out Zack and Cody!
Right click here to download – 62 minutes, 29 megs
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Joel Radio #34: Drugs, Alcohol, Death, Kitties
Mar 11th
To the surprise of almost no one, another child star is dead at a young age. This time it’s Corey Haim, who was one of 103 child stars named Corey in the 1980s. Joel examines the phenomenon of why child stars go bad, and how drug-related deaths of celebrities are treated by the media. Follow the long history of excuses and cover-ups to discover the only few “true” drug ODs in history. Its actually sad to hear the same excuses over and over, and not understand why these deaths are actually happening. Later, Joel reviews the 2009 Oscar ceremony. It was boring and, in hindsight, predictable. Joel thinks The Hurt Locker is overrated, and he’s got his stats to prove it! Find out the history of War movies at the Oscars, and hear why the “Hurt Locker Ass Kiss Spectacular” will likely go down as a black mark in showbiz history. Plus, the Oscar prognosticators’ results are in, and can Joel’s cat sleep through an entire show?
Right click here to download – 53 minutes, 24 megs
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Joel Radio #33: Jaw Dropping
Mar 4th
It’s a huge week at JoelRadio, so let’s bring back a (ahem) huge guest in Corey Hall. There’s so much to talk about as the Winter Olympics wrap-up, Alice in Wonderland debuts, Jay Leno returns to late-night, and the Oscar race concludes. But the biggest news of the week was the appearance of legendary movie critic Roger Ebert on the Oprah Winfrey show this week. Surviving cancer has left Roger unable to eat, drink or speak, with no lower jaw, lower mouth or tongue. It’s a sight more graphic than anything in The Crazies (reviewed this week!), yet sad and inspirational at the same time. In fact, some brainiacs figured out they build Roger a “voice” from his previous DVD commentaries and TV appearances. Thankfully, Corey and Joel’s years of podcasting should have them covered in such a tragic event, so whatever genius listening to this (Nils!), get working on it! Also, The Marriage Ref debuts, does Seinfeld strike out? Plus, Shutter Island sucks, the history of Mountain Dew, and the funniest thing ever – the secret life of gay Siskel and Ebert (not true, but really funny).
Right click here to download – 93 minutes, 44 megs
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Ebert as he appeared on Oprah – some things you can’t un-see…
Joel Radio #32: Right On Her Ass
Feb 18th
It’s Olympic Season again, you got the fever yet? Yeah, well go get that looked at – it won’t clear up on its own. Seriously though, Joel has watched some of the coverage, and found nothing more entertaining than this. Except this – a ski run so completely inept, that Joel is moved enough to fly to Vancouver just to show a trained Olympian how to stay upright for more than six seconds. It’s really incredibly sad, yet entertaining, to see such an epic failure on such a big stage. Thank you Marion Rolland, thank you France. Thank you, thank you. Also, Kevin Smith is too fat to fly, but not honest enough tell you the whole story – thankfully Joel is here for that. Plus, Amazing Race and Survivor return, and Steve Sabo picks UFC 110, and there’s some tough fights to call. One fight will decide the overall lead!
Right click here to download – 54 minutes, 25 megs
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